piccalilli

behold....

piccalilli has arrived...

remember this post?

remember i was fretting that the mama hen had decided in all her chickeny wisdom to sit upon a nest of eggs way, way up high...

how i was doubting her ability to equip each and every new babe with a knitted parachute?

well

i need not have worried...

..

sunday morning, above all the noise of a farmyard waking from its slumber, a loud and i mean LOUD cry could be heard..

upon inspection it was clearly coming from the nest of the careless mother, i peeped in and my heart sank deep down inside my leaky wellington boots..

for there before me stood a single chick with its eyes tightly shut due to the extreme effort it was taking to yell the stable roof off..

to be fair it had every reason to yell for its mama had seemingly misplaced it ...

 mighty mouth  stood a distance away from the warmth of the eggy nest - at least fifty chicky hops away which to a chick that has just battled its way out of an egg is way to far to struggle back to...

hence the yelling..

clearly it was being ignored as mama hen, whom may i point out now is my most favourite marsh daisy chicken who i fully expected to be a first class, tip top mother, had turned her back...

yep

turned her back on her newborn child..

her first born...

to rectify the situation we seemed to be in on this sunday morning

i decided to attempt the move known as the

 "swift bottom lift and plunge" move..

anyone who has encountered a broody hen on a nest will know that putting your hand anywhere near said nest is a big mistake to make...

you risk pain and disfigurement and a loss of blood - all of which will be yours...

so

i made my swift move

swifter than swift and plunged that screaming ball of fluff right back where it belonged...

i immediately flattened myself to the wall in the vain hope that mama hen would not notice the swifter than swift move i had made on her private end..

success

she looked unruffled..

i felt like an achiever....

i was already imagining pinning the best chicken man handler badge to my cardi.. 

but then...

i glanced to my left and watched as mama hen rose oh so slowly from her nest, head down she looked between her chickeny legs and with a move swifter than my swift move she had hoiked mighty mouth who was now thankfully silent, right back out..

i held my breath hoping that she was just planning a reshuffle, doing a little downstairs housework, that any minute now she would usher that sweet chick back under her soft wings...

sadly not..

instead she turned and attacked the silent creature who suddenly, and understandably started yelling once more..

i knew i had to take drastic action but i was also thinking ahead to the fact i needed all my fingers to start a sewing project later that day...

there was no other option but to grab mama by her ample tail feathers and lift her skywards whilst clasping the now furious chick with my other hand..

once safe retrieval had been made i plonked mama back on her nest and fled...

fast forward an hour and stephen has fashioned a genius home for chick from an apple box, wood plank and a light bulb..

food and water has been laid on in jam jar lids just in case our newest house guest requires refreshments even though we know he/she can survive without such treats for up to three days....

the new wood house has been placed in my workroom as this is the only space where we can guarantee no cat, dog or wandering sheep can enter...

all set..

happiness would follow surely?

nope....

what actually followed was hour upon hour of yelling..

no amount of pretend clucking and peeping sounds seemed to help..

clearly this chick knew it had been rejected and was now in fact an ORPHAN

i swear it was louder than three cats and six whippets whom i will now never complain about again...

in desperation i fashioned chicks out of fluffy sheep fleece which worked for a short while...

in the wonderful silence that followed it is now clear that the chick was not curled up in a deep slumber  but was actually working out that it had been conned...

once it had confirmed in its tiny chick mind that the fleece chicks were in fact imposter's the screaming resumed...

all through the night..

at 3.30 this morning i was to be found muttering to myself whilst sporting my russell brand bed hair ,fashioning five chicks from fleece stuffed socks..

needless to say it did not work..

the yelling continued..

here is the newly named piccalilli at 6.30am today..

bright and breezy and chuffed to bits with its nights work...

i am not so bright and breezy hence the fact i still seem to be channelling russell brand in the hair department at almost 10pm...

i am now beginning to understand why mama hen threw this pipsqueak out - clearly she knew that it was going to be a gobby little show-off..

 but dear readers i have plans...

a way to keep the peace until a new chick emerges from under the murderous mama hen and arrives in my work room and hopefully solves our current loneliness problem..

oh yes - plans indeed

t x