Monday, May 6

{{ blog every day in May }} day six

.. the bank holiday...

my day started a total shitter..
at 3.30 am i am crouched in the bathroom holding a dying lamb, trampled by a ewe with no hope of survival...
barely a day old and the most beautiful of all the lambs this year..
yet again my heart is broken..
just before 5am the lamb slipped away,  tucked closely under my chin as i sobbed and whispered how very glad i was to have met such a beautiful creature and how very, very sorry i was that it was for such a short time...
as it fell limp in my arms i opened the window so that its soul could escape on the early morning breeze...
a part of me sailed along with it....

as a rescue charity and breeder of rare native breed sheep we are sadly used to loss but each soul that leaves us makes a tiny chip in my heart that i know over time will be impossible to repair, it will be then that i will say no more...

the rest of the day i spent feeling flat, emotional and just plain angry.
constantly fighting back the need to just sob and sob at the unfairness of it all.
to help distract and absorb time i cleaned and swept animal housing, played endlessly with the hounds and hugged goats until they became furious with me!
i also watched the other tiny lambs skip, play and bathe in the sunshine and sent blessing up for their continued safety...

now it is early evening and we have just placed an expectant ewe in the animal hospital as she has been slightly off since yesterday..
she was showing very early signs of lambing first thing this morning as the sun rose but has not progressed any further...
we will watch and wait, watch and wait...

a trip to the vet may be needed...

if any time allows this evening i hope to finish painting some furniture that has been waiting and waiting, but my main hope is to work with the fleece that i have collected from around the walls and fences as some of the boreray ewes have begun to self shed..
i love the feel, colour and texture of a rare breed sheep's fleece and am happily exploring ways to use it .. tonight i am hoping it will sit within a moth that has slowly emerged on my work room table...

and tomorrow is another day entirely
i am hoping for a happy one for us and you 

*** cheerful footnote... worried ewe has had a little one :) very uncomfortable and tricky breech delivery but she is washing and feeding the new tot like a trooper ***


  1. What a bittersweet day you've had! So sorry about the poor little lamb, but very glad that the ewe and her new baby are ok.

    Hope you have a better day tomorrow

    Claire xx

  2. How sad, but the work you do and the love for your animals is so worthwhile, I admire you for it. x

  3. Bless you for caring the way you do for the animals..glad to hear the new little one arrived safely and lets hope tomorrow is a better day
    Kind thoughts
    Thea x

  4. Not many people could do your job Tracy.Think of all the ones that are happy and safe because of you guys.:))x

  5. I'm beginning to realise just how hard your job really is.
    Take care and thank you for all that you do. Jx

  6. Oh you are doing such good in this world, I don't know if I'd have the emotional strength (greatly admire you). Your day brought tears to my soul, but its just thankful you were able to hold the little lamb as they passed away.
    Hoping your day tomorrow is full of smiles of joy :-)
    Xo Ramona

  7. Very sad post today. I left a comment before but I don't know if you got it or just didn't put it up. I have followed you for a number of years so it would be nice to hear back :) Meanwhile I hope tomorrow is kinder to you x

  8. hello debbs x
    so sorry if your other notes are nowhere to be found, i publish everything except for the spam so it should be here somewhere!
    i try to pop by all the blogs that visit here but when i press on your link there is nowhere to visit, so i thought i would say {hello} to you here - hope you find this message :)

  9. Oh my goodness what a rollercoaster day for you. I really hope that today is a better day. You do a wonderful job with your animals and they are so lucky to be wrapped in your love and tlc.

    Take care.



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