there have been times this week that have left me gasping for breath wondering just how on earth we had any hope on continuing to keep a roof over our heads and more importantly the animals. .
moments of complete and utter devastation, a feeling of being lost in the dark grasping to grab hold of anything to keep me upright..
but it passed, things find a way of settling down, righting their selves for now, allowing time for us to look at the good we do and all we achieve before the next fight begins..
i always knew it would be tough living this life of ours, financially, emotionally and so much more but weeks like this do make me want to pick up my dogs and cats and just go.
but i am still here. we are still here. the roof above our heads and the land the animals call home is still here. just.
i long for a chance to feel secure in one place, it seems a very long time since we had that and i honestly doubt we will ever have it again. it is hard as a tenant farmer not only to cover expenses but to also be faced with that little nagging feeling that one day, any day soon we will have to leave and the thought of where to and the logistics of moving so many haunts my restless sleep almost every night.
how must it feel not to have any responsibilities?
anyhoo, enough of worry and sadness as my week ended in rather a lovely way as i was able to take the afternoon off yesterday to go out with a friend that is so warm, smiley and fun that i now feel refreshed and happy again. friendships are so important.
tea was taken at the castle and a little treasure hunting was done :)
even though i despair at the prices of things in our charity shops now and the lack of anything that catches my eye i did fall upon a few treats as you can see above.
the painting was a mere £1.29..
and of course the set of tams ware had to come home with me....
if the mood takes you you can follow my days on instagram where i seem to be able to waffle on more regularly than here, but be warned as most of the feed is pictures of animals, animals and more animals so if you are looking for stylish homes and beautifully staged pics then i am the one to avoid!
and today even though it is still so cold here in the mornings, it is at least dry so it is a good day to let my rain phobic goats out and clean the rest of the goat barn.
i also hope to do a little more work on the ghastly mess that is our front garden using the old stone and slate tiles off the bottom barn to create a hard standing area for a table and chairs.
the issue of plants is still being debated as it seems impossible to keep these leaping sheep and goats out of this small space.
all the acres they have and they INSIST on casually parading through the tiny front garden eating e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g!
i purchased some seeds yesterday and looked at them with a worried face wondering just what their final fate would be....
happy easter to you all however you choose to celebrate