Monday, June 2

a self confessed dream chaser.....

i remember buying this painting like it was only yesterday..
it was from a tatty and beautiful shop in Hastings, i was with my very good friend amanda
she was amazing
and tall and willowy
she had the best taste and was the queen of charity shops, farrow and ball paint and making do before it became so trendy, dull and over used..
she was a self employed gardener and had magic hands
i admired her hugely and was more than a little star struck by her natural grace and beauty and quiet humility
and she had a beautiful, feisty border terrier
really what was not to like?

i carried the painting under my arm for the rest of the day and proudly placed it on the wall of our tiny cottage which sat on a busy road in a large village..
i would look at that picture often and declared it to be my dream home..

a house in the middle of the country, remote, with land that i could fill with animals

and so 14 years passed and the picture remained on that wonky wall that we plastered, in that tiny cottage that we loved....
the cottage that kept us safe, that was often filled with friends eating and laughing, the place that was very much home...
and then on a whim we sold up and moved to follow the dream in that darn painting...

seven years later, two houses and countless animals and here we are..
supposedly for the last three years i have been living in my dream of dreams location - a stone house in the middle of a forest
turns out it is a dream spiked with nightmares

now we are leaving i can clearly see how utterly exhausted we both are, both at the end of our well travelled roads...
seven years of chasing dreams, building a house by the sea, saving many animals and really not a moment for ourselves to just stop and enjoy the places we have lived
ironic really

the next part of my life will be based at home, with my family, where i began..
time to rest, regroup, heal, remember
time to be surrounded by the family i have been away from both physically and emotionally whilst i have been dream chasing...

its time to go home

however a brand new dream is gathering a little whirl in my thoughts but this time it will be closer to those that i love the most


  1. An exciting new chapter and all those Annabelle cuddles to heal your heart....but you will be missed up here xxx

  2. Good luck ... whether you follow your eddying dream or not ...

  3. it's good to dream lovely one x

  4. A beautifully reflective post~ It is interesting, because I have been reading your blog since before you started on your journey to Scotland (back when the blog was called Cupcakes at Home). I have thought through the years, that you had so much joy looking toward that journey, but that the joy seemed missing in the last several years. I think you've landed on it, that you have both been so exhausted with no time to rest. You have done a great work and rescued many animals. Now, perhaps, some rest for you both and time to rejuvenate. :) Blessings~

  5. Chasing dreams is a wonderful pastime but you have to remember to live them too! I hope your next dream lives up to its promise. xx

  6. I tried to leave a reply here via Facebook but it seems to have disappeared!
    Roughly what I said was.....
    What a beautiful dream you had and although you must but so very tired and heart broken I do hope in the years that come you realise just how many lovely animals you have saved and given a good home to even for a little while and I am sure you and your farmer boy will find another dream, one that involves a little more time for you.
    Ps if you ever need a lift to visit your animals in their new homes I will gladly oblige. Xxxxx

  7. Beautiful post Tracy ... take time to rest, and the dream will follow xxx

  8. That's a beautiful painting T, I hope your new path takes you somewhere super lovely. Funny how life turns out sometimes but it's all for a reason, a big lesson in something or other I suppose. Enjoy the rest, you totally deserve it xxxx

  9. Sent that too early oops. in my head I'm thinking how wonderful you are, creative, caring, passionate and humble. I really do feel for you and all that is happening, but that won't change what that is will it. Being as you're someone who lives life to her fullest I know you'll be filled up to the brim by all the love from your family and it won't be long before you're on another great path. You've done amazing things for all your animals and continue to do so. Gushing doesn't come easy to me, but I feel so moved by what's happening to you Tracy as I've always greatly admired what you do that I really wanted to tell you.x

  10. Dear Tracy, I am so very sorry that things have taken this turn for you. It's good that you have the seeds of a new dream growing in the back of your mind and I truly hope that these thought sustain you through this difficult month. Thinking of you all and hoping that everything will have a silver lining when you look back on it from future happy days xxx

  11. such a lovely post...following dreams...i loved your other blog by the sea and this blog in the depths of the country and your love for the animals. but now you need the love and that comes from your family...enjoy your new start back where you began. x best wishes x p.s im kazzyloves of instagram i think we follow eachother on that ;0)x


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